I thought people would stop. Well, I could not stop the magazines. They would do anything to sell their exemplars. I was okay for few months with all the craps sold on the magazines. I even almost satisfied when OK magazines put their headlines about our engagement. I told Kristen how about if we made their crap come into a real story. Me & Kristen engaged. Kristen was laughing. It was a good idea, but we both knew for sure, if we finally put our commitment into a ring, we will do it publicly. Nothing to hide about me & Kristen.
That’s why after publicly kissing her at King Leon’s concert, I knew our relationship has leaped to a higher level. We both sure about our decision. But it was only a short happy moment. Within the last few days, I started to feel irritated. One magazine put the news that I gave very stern warning to Michael to stay away from Kristen and get out from her life. Kristen was furious about that crap. I kept silence at her anger. We both knew the truth. At a certain point, I truly understood Edward’s possessiveness on Bella. I felt that too. Kristen is my life and my soul. The more I spent my time with her, the more I understood my feeling. She’s the one I want in my life.
I knew Michael has been trying to win her back since Kristen said no to his marriage proposal. But gave stern warning to Michael was not my way. My love for Kristen could make me very noble. I have given her my words months ago.
“Kristen, you will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of course, if you outgrew me—if you wanted something more—I would understand that. I promise I wouldn’t stand in your way if you wanted to leave me.” -quote from New Moon-
It was a torturing time. A time of a great misery. I could never imagine my life without her. But I have made my commitment. She’s my priority. I will never made her suffer.
But then I realized. It was after Bobby Long’s concert. Too many paps and fans. After the concert, before we left to our cab, she already told me that she wanted to go only with me. She already felt uncomfortable. It was not only irritating. I have to fought very hard to keep my self calm. It burned my heart to see Kristen like that. Then I heard that. Somebody called her b****. She entered the cab in panic. Tried to cover her face. I burned into an anger. I used to handle the fans easily. But this time, out of my understanding, I was furious. Kristen’s manager asked the taxi driver to move. I felt the urge to take Kristen into my arms.
She was so quite that night. We were on our bed. I brought her into my arms. “What’s wrong with me Rob?” “Am I not good enough for you?” “I knew it seemed like I was playing with your feelings, but you knew, I’ve made my commitment too. I am sure about our relationship”. I kept silent. Hold her tighter, gave her time to poured everything out. Hope that my arms could ease her feelings. I kissed the tip of her head. I pressed it harder. Let my lips stayed quite sometime there. She slipped her hand to my back. Hold me closer to her soft build. The way she hugged me sent a shiver down my spine. I really wished I could hug her forever. To kept her safe. I started to felt like Edward. The masochistic lion. Suffered for his love.
I felt her took a deep breath. I caressed her arms, “Kristen, you knew that you have turned my life ups and downs since I met you”. “But I love you with no excuses, love you without regrets”. “Loving you is like breathing. How can I stop?” “You knew my decision. I will never stepped back”. “You are enough. You are all I want for my life”.
I knew what I’ve decided. I am the masochistic lion. I will suffer if needed. I will do anything so I could be with Kristen as long as I could.
These are what I have in mind when I look at the pictures. Whatever the true story behind the wide-spread pictures & newest gossip, within the next few days and months, my writings is just my point of view, my own analysis.
Disclaimer: All photographs and manips used in this blog are belongs to their rightful owners.