I missed him already. Really hard to let him go for Cannes Festival. I wished I could join him there. But I couldn’t. I still memorizing my last conversation with Robert before he left for the screenings. Then I saw the picture.

It’s impossible. He looked comfortable putting his arms around that blonde girl, Erika Dutra.

I felt the tremble in my heart. How could he let that picture emerged to the medias.
I almost crying. The picture tortured my heart very badly. I pushed down my feeling so I won’t howling around. I barely could control my tears. I will meet him for our next scene in Italy. I must confront him.

It was an official lunch meetings. We didn’t have extra time to be alone. But Rob already read my signs. He knew something was wrong between us. Then I asked him about Erika.

He told me that nothing was between him and Erika. And he didn’t go out with her after the party.
He said firmly, “You must believe me love. Every single word I said about my feeling for you was true. I knew whom I needed and until now I still know“.

It wasn’t easy to believe in. He’s the most wanted guy in the planet these days, any woman would be
willingly happy to take my place in his heart. Rob seemed distressed.

I knew I made him sad with my uncertainties, but his gentleman attitude, as usual, cover it up from the crowds. I cried in my heart. How could I doubt him. But I still not able to erase Erika from my head.

The next day, I was still thinking about our relationship. We were okay when we left hotel for the set. He sent a joke about how glowing the two of us in Italy. It was a bit cheering me up. He also said that he didn’t care where he was, as long as he’s with me, he will glow. Another choke to my throat. He was so gentle.

I was ready for my running scene. I will jump through the fountain to save ” my Edward”.
I refused to have the body double. I need to do it myself. This one is too important to be
replaced by others. Then I realized something and started to get nervous. With this uncertainties and misery, could I hold my emotions if I saw him standing there and wanted to kill himself?

My turn. I started to run. I was ready to jump over the fountain, when I finally saw him clearly. I was stunning.

Rob is standing there. Tall, lanky, ripped and vampire white. He’s gorgeous. I got my epiphany.
My mind hadn’t capable to holding this much love. My heart hadn’t been strong enough to bear it. – quote from Breaking Dawn –

As I run closer to him. My feeling for him was getting stronger. That was the prime reason I turned down Mike’s marriage proposal. I knew for sure what I want. I want him. I want my perfect Edward.

When I threw myself to his arms, I could feel his bare skin. I could feel his arms on my waist. I could feel him to the very core of my body. He was my perfect Edward. My perfect Rob.

I didn’t loose my embrace. I twisted my fingers to his hair. I was too afraid to loose him. I could sense his warm breath on my neck. I was almost choke by my love for him.

I hugged him tighter so I could whisper only to his ears, “Rob, I knew my feeling. I knew I can’t bear it anymore. You should never left me alone again”. He was speechless. He just drown his face into my hair and hold me tighter.

When we did the kissing, I wanted to express my feeling for him. I sent my message through my lips.
I wanted him to know that I believed him. I believed that he truly loves me.

I almost forgot that camera was still rolling, capturing our precious moment. When the director yelled “CUT!!” we parted our selves slowly & hesitantly. Then he giggles. He received my message. He knew my feeling. And I was winning him back.

Then Rob turned me over from him, still holding my hips and pulled me closer to his chest. He whispered, “thank you, love. You knew I love you with all of my heart.”. He laughed and I knew he felt the same relief like me.

We were still excited. Rob still following me, not longing to release. I hadn’t imagined that I could love him more than I had. As long as I am with Robert, I am home.

Whatever the true story behind the wide-spread pictures & newest gossip, my writings is just my point of view, my own analysis. I’ll be tremendously happy if they could be a real couple, but if not at least I still have something to comfort my tortured feelings.

read while Kristen back to my arms in Italy to have same imaginary line based on Robert’s point of view.

I am not a good writer and never thought to become a writer either. But seeing these pictures gave me a non-creative idea.

First, thanks to Twilight Indonesia for giving me enough space to pour my tortured feelings in writings.

then, thanks to ivabella, to brought these inspiring pictures to her photo album.

These pictures are 100% manipulation, but they are the best manipulation I ever seen

the first inspiring picture brought me to Esme Island. I was imagining Edward’s face while he teased Bella and said “so you seduced your all-too-willing husband…”

I can also imagine Bella’s happiness after she experienced her second honeymoon with Edward, “I was never to get tired, and neither was he. […] he had the most beautiful perfect body in the world and I had him all to myself […] I always going to have more”

I think this picture really caught Edward & Bella’s emotions.

then the second inspiring picture. I have mixed feeling for this picture.
At the beginning, all I can remember from this picture was Edward’s statement, while he asked Charlie’s blessing for them. ” I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and by some miracle — she loves me that way to“.

The statement was strong and worth a long life time.

but then, I realized. The manipulation was too perfect, too sweet, it really made me wishing again.

My hope were ballooning, when these non-manipulated pictures emerged couple days ago.
the picture of undeniable adoring happiness

and the picture of undeniable intimacy

My heart would not strong enough to bear the hope. But now, I dare to wish that the strong and worth long life time statement about love not only belong to Edward & Bella…