Semarang: Rajutan Kenangan Masa Remaja


Pengkotbah 3:1: Untuk segala sesuatu ada masanya, untuk apapun di bawah langit ada waktunya

30 tahun yang lalu, meninggalkan Semarang, kota tempatku menghabiskan 5 tahun masa remajaku, membuatku kehilangan jalinan pertemanan yang sudah dibuat selama bertahun-tahun. Nama dan wajah menjadi samar dan akhirnya hilang sama sekali dari ingatan, seiring dengan berlalunya sang waktu. Hanya beberapa nama dan wajah yang melekat dalam benak.

Perjalanan hidup memang aneh. Ditemukan kembali merupakan satu mantra ajaib. Sebagian teman sekolahku dulu di Kebon Dalem, mendadak kembali dalam hidup dewasaku. Menyenangkan? Pasti. Namun 30 tahun bukan waktu yang pendek. Waktu mengubah seseorang. Aku berubah, begitu juga teman-temanku. Aku tak bisa mengingat banyak cerita dari tiap-tiap teman. Namun dalam beberapa bulan, aku memahami. Perubahan-perubahan itu memberiku pengalaman baru. Ada teman yang dulu rasanya tak banyak bicara denganku, sekarang bisa berbagi cerita. Dulu tak kenal, sekarang menjadi teman baik.

Semarang, 26 Desember 2016, menjadi salah satu momen penting dalam rajutan kenangan masa remajaku. Memeluk erat, Ay Fang, Puspa, Julia, Lindani, Natalia, Bhe-bhe, Inge, Yenly, Yurike, Linarti. Kemudian duduk dalam diam memperhatikan teman-teman SD dan SMPku yang lain, Benny, Chatarina, Hendi, Bing Djwan – sang pemilik tempat kami berkumpul – membuatku merasa pulang ke rumah. Dalam ketenanganku, aku bisa menuliskan cerita baru dalam hatiku.

Dewi kepang teman mungilku yang namanya tak pernah hilang dari ingatan. Bisa memeluknya kembali, menghabiskan banyak waktu bersamanya, membuatku berharap kami bisa terus berteman.

Rehwen, yang kini sering kuganggu dengan memanggilnya “Wendra”. Sosok yang nyaris tak kukenali ketika masa sekolah. Sekarang menjadi sosok menyenangkan untuk berbagi cerita.

Ita Nuryanti. Sang Pemasok pil koplak Aku tak pernah mengenalnya dimasa sekolah dulu. Bahkan tak pernah tahu kalau dia ada. Entah kenapa, saat ini, dengan segala keanehannya, Ita menjadi salah satu teman terdekatku.

Ay Fang. Perempuan tomboy berwajah unik, yang masih tomboy dan berwajah unik sampai aku bertemu kembali dengannya. Melihatnya, bisa memeluknya, memberiku kesenangan tersendiri.

Linda Bhe-bhe, perempuan cantik, teman lama yang tak kusangka akan melakukan hal aneh yang membuatku tak akan pernah mau melupakan dirinya. Sewa becak. Becak lengkap dengan abangnya, demi mengulang kebersamaan naik becak di masa lalu.

Agustinus. Yang dari dulu kupanggil “dekik”. Tak pernah menyangka akan bisa melihatnya lagi. Tapi sekarang dia “Titan dekik”. Dulu kukira, lesung di pipinya akibat tertusuk paku. Ternyata memang dekik sejak lahir. Hehe..

Hendi Hariadi. Tukang ngeyel. Aku tak bisa mengingatnya sama sekali. Tapi dia teman yang menyenangkan. Dan aku bersyukur bisa mengenalnya.

Stephanie Xugie. Perempuan kreatif yang entah bagaimana caranya, akhirnya ada dalam lingkaran pertemananku. Aneh, tapi aku bersyukur bisa mengenalnya.

Arif Eko. Tak ada ingatan sama sekali tentang dia. Tapi sekarang, dia teman kreatifku.

Harry Budiono. yang kupanggil “Kian Dong” pemasok kopiku. Sama seperti Arif, tak ada ingatan sama sekali tentang dia. Tapi Kian Dong, sekarang juga teman baik. Bahkan Lenny istrinya, ditambahkan dalam lingkaran pertemananku. Menyenangkan.

Puspa, aku baru tahu kalau matanya yang membesar ketika sedang bersemangat bercerita. Suatu saat, harusnya aku bisa mengunjunginya di Makassar.

Natalia, Julia, Lindani, Linarti. Teman-teman yang baru kuingat setelah melihat foto masa sekolah. Aku senang bisa melihat mereka kembali.

Francisca Novy, teman mungilku yang lain, yang kutemui di Temanggung 2 hari kemudian. Berat rasanya meninggalkan Novy di parkiran kantornya, aku berharap, bisa bertemu dengannya lagi..

Lilis Widjaja. Tak banyak ingatanku tentang dia semasa SMP. Namun berkunjung ke rumahnya, memberiku kebahagiaan yang meluap.

Aku tak akan melupakan bahwa Tuhan juga sudah mempertemukanku dengan Kangmas Soerono Handoyo, cece Djay Yien dan salah satu teman terbaikku Ariveany Inanugraha.

Dipertemukan kembali dengan Andy Gunawan, rasanya aku tak pernah bisa bicara dengannya waktu SMP dulu. Tapi dimasa dewasaku, aku bisa berteman baik dengannya. Dengan Siswadhi Pranoto. Dia beda dari yang kuingat. Tapi dia tetap sosok teman yang menyenangkan. Aku bersyukur bisa bertemu lagi dengannya.

Tuhan mempertemukan ku juga dengan Sylvia Joyce. Datang jauh dari Medan ke Jakarta dan menyediakan waktu untuk bertemu denganku. Perempuan bertekad baja yang menjadi teman berbagi pengalaman.

Tuhan bahkan mengantarkan aku pergi ke negeri orang dan bisa bertemu dengan Vivien Subadha. Perempuan manis yang dulu membuatku kesal. Obyek perhatian pria muda yang kutaksir semasa SMP. Masa lalu. Vivien memiliki hati yang melayani. Berada bersama keluarganya selama beberapa hari, memberi kenangan yang sulit dilupakan.

Hingga saat aku menulis blog ini, aku masih berharap bisa bertemu Sylvia Danoe, sang gudang informasi. aku sempat berpikir dia intel, saking banyaknya info yang dia punya. Sentanto, teman lama yang pertama kali menemukanku di facebook. Juga seorang teman yang wajahnya masih kuingat Robby Mulyadi.

Pertemuan kembali dengan teman-teman dari masa sekolahku, pasti bukan kebetulan. Setiap teman adalah kepingan puzzle. Ada kepingan yang cocok untuk melengkapi puzzle kehidupanku. Ada kepingan yang kupikir cocok namun ternyata milik puzzle kehidupan orang lain. Namun, melalui setiap kepingan itu, Tuhan memberiku kesempatan menjalani proses menjadi lebih dewasa dan mengingat kembali panggilan pelayananku. Untuk setiap kepingan puzzle yang hadir, aku menaikkan syukurku.

Amsal 17:17, Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih setiap waktu, dan menjadi seorang saudara dalam kesukaran.

Aku meninggalkan tahun 2016 dan memasuki tahun 2017 dengan satu doa… setiap kepingan puzzle yang tepat mengisi puzzle kehidupanku, akan tetap berada di tempatnya sampai perjalanan hidupku berakhir.

Blast from the Past : the Story of Platonic Love

For me, being and eldest daughter among four children, is a blessing. Difficult, but bearable. For years, I never thought about having a big brother, until I met this one guy when I was in Junior High, 1983.

I can’t remember when or how it started. I didn’t remember how we could get closer to each other. Totally not remember 🙂 All that freshly remembered till now is the feeling. The comfort feeling when he was near and happy to see him around. I guess it was years of close brother and sister relationship. We parted after the graduation in 1986.

My family moved to Jakarta. Though it was blurry, but I could recall that he moved to Jakarta too. We have a short contact for one or two years, before we completely lost each other.

Time flew. I never understand the reason. But as far as I can remember, while friends come and go, he, whom I called Kangmas, always has a special space in my head and in my heart. Seems like I carried him everywhere for years. I mentioned his name once in a while when I chat with my friends. I told story about a brother I had in Junior High. How I wish to see him again. I remember, I did that for many years.

Was he my first love? Probably. But I know for years that, though he was special, he’s not the love of my life. How do I know that? Because though my feeling grew stronger for years and I never forget him even a bit, it never changed to one romantic feeling.

Early this March, out of the blue, my day was colored by a shocking greet on Facebook, from someone I have been carried for years. I couldn’t describe my feeling that moment. I felt like shaking? Walked on the cloud? Jumped around? Grinned cheek to cheek? Any kind of expressions I ever known, they were all there. I was tremendously happy. A blast from the past. My dearest Kangmas is back.

That finally, after a month of many chats, I could meet him again, able to see his features after so many years, was one wonderful moment. Physically, he has changed. He gained more weight, darker skin and a head fully covered with silver hair. On that, I am thanking him for not dyed it black. I love seeing silver hairs on matured people. Because I believe that “Gray hair is a crown of splendor, it is attained in the way of righteousness.” (Proverbs 16:31)

But his face still the same. The face I carried everywhere in almost of my days. He’s matured, but he still the soft spoken and caring brother I remembered for many years.

How I feel about him? Surprisingly, it remains the same. Still feel comfortable and happy to see him near and around. I still the same young girl, who love her brother because he was nice and caring.

These past days, I still feeling grateful. The more I chat with him, the happier I am, having my long-lost brother back. His understanding and concern about my husband, made me relieved and easy.

For years, I don’t believe that two strangers, bonded by a platonic love, can be brother and sister. But now, after 30 years, though the probability is one to a million, I have my own story about it. The story about a platonic love that bond my Kangmas and I, as brother and sister. We have been brother and sister since we were young. We are brother and sister now. I believe, the same platonic love will keep our relationship as brother and sister for more years.

This is one of the amazing blessing that GOD gave me.


“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17)

Han Geng and his deep love for Gengfans

Every time I speak or write about Han Geng, I can’t avoid his past in Korea. Though it was a one very painful and unbelievable experience, but Han Geng never stated a single complain about it. I learned that Han Geng is someone who tried to keep every pains only to himself. Not much people can really understand him. Only those who really close to his heart. Out of the circle, there are group who always with him, since the first day he left China. The group that grew bigger every day. The group called “Gengfans”.

Since my first day of Geng fandom, beside himself, the uniqueness of his fans also caught my heart. The relation between Han Geng and Gengfans is different from other star – fans relation I ever knew. Spazzing to more fan accounts, I found one very touching one posted on tumblr. Left me a very deep impression. After reading the translation from its original lyric sang by Han Geng in below video, I know the song has strong meaning for Han Geng and his fans. As you can see, when the camera took a short shoot on the audience’s side, most of them were crying, because they knew completely how Han Geng felt that time.

Fan account: gengwuolai

I’m sure you’ve all seen this clip before with Han Geng insisting on singing “I’m Willing” to his Gengfans while he was ill. Have you ever read the lyrics? Well, here it is.

Yearning is an extraordinary thing
Accompanies like the shadow
Silently, from deep within the heart
In an instant, swallows me in loneliness
I have no strength to resist, especially at night
Missing you until I can’t breath
If I could only run towards you at once
Declare to you loudly
Willing for you, I’m willing for you
I’m willing for you, to forget my name
If it means for an extra second, I could stay in your arms
Losing the world would be unregrettable
I’m willing for you, I’m willing for you
I’m willing for you
Be banished to the ends of the earth
You only need to be true, answers me with your love
Anything, I’m willing
Anything, I’m willing
For you
Anything, I’m willing
Anything, I’m willing
For you

I know this is from awhile back, but if you ever wonder why there is such a strong bond between Han Geng and his Gengfans, this is just one of the reasons. Han Geng loves his fans deeply.

As for me, I brought this to my personal account and wish to share it to more friends, not to show how difficult Han Geng’s life before he finally decided to take his solo career. I brought this to my personal account, because I am also one of the proud Gengfans who without doubt know very well that Han Geng loves his fans deeply.

How can one love repay the abundant endless supportive love of millions… only sincere love from a humble heart who keep the promise to work hard..

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I write so I can share what I see through my heart, my personal point of view and my own analysis.

Disclaimer:Picture & video used in this blog are belongs to their rightful owners, No copyright infringement intended.

When Han Geng’s popularity goes very high, where should my heart go?

Sometimes, being mature is like having two sides of a coin. On one side, you can have more wisdom that make you able to see things better than when you’re young but on the other side, it makes you let go simple things, like fandom, without a second thought.

I remember the first day I started my fandom 3 years ago. It was the hype of Twilight movie that catapulted Robert Pattinson into stardom in one night. By that time, I realized the other side of myself. Obsession made me able to do things out of my habits. There were days, when I didn’t get enough sleep because I was doing too much research on him. But thanks to my mature mind, though I was obsessed, my logic still knew very well the reason, that I ONLY follow a star with multi-talents and distinctive personality. A star who can produce admirable projects. When the amusement fades, my entire obsession washed away. It was a month after my 2009 birthday, when suddenly I lost my RPatzz Obsessive Disorder, for only one reason, he received too many popular awards. Though harvesting complaints, I left everything behind. I couldn’t find anything else to bring my obsession back, neither his talent nor his personality. It just gone with the wind.

Fandom is not like a faith. It can come and go at anytime. I realized that I am a little bit allergic to popular awards. In my opinion, popular award is necessary for someone who started their career, because it will show how much support and acknowledgement one can get. Popularity is the life and dead of a celebrity. They need to stay on top to be able to continue with their career. But, too much popular awards can blur the real talents. One will never know which really made them on top of the popularity, their strong fan base support or their real talent.

Since October last year, I found my new interest, one multi-talented Chinese male singer, Han Geng. Like my other experience, I started my new fandom with a very excited feeling to dig deeper about him. First obstacle? Language of course 😀 but it didn’t stop me from searching, because there were already sites that provide information about Han Geng in English to accommodate my usual habit, spent nights and days to catch up. I experienced many things, done projects I never imagined before and joined the beautiful circle of friendship with another Gengfans.

Han Geng, since the first day he decided to have his solo career, skyrocketed to unbelievable level of popularity. His hard works for many years started to acknowledged and appreciated. Han Geng wiped many music events like a cyclone with his outstanding performance and received more awards in a lightning speed. I lost count on how many popular awards he received within 2010 to early 2011. On one hand, I was so proud of him, but on the other hand, suddenly I was hit by one reality. It was like deja vu. I am entering another too popular period of a star, even less than 6 months. Will I let this fandom goes just like before? The one question that haunted my mind for many days, how long Han Geng can stay famous on this industry? Is it only because he has a very strong fan base that would give whole heart support to make him win any polls? Or will he stay famous without any support because his real talent can make him strong?

I have to admit, there were days, when I really lost my passion. I saw his pictures blankly and watched his videos with no taste. But my heart had experienced something different from my other fandom. My Geng fandom is no longer obsession. My Geng fandom has changed from obsessive disorder to an admiration and respect. I recalled my memories to Spring Gala Festival Interview on February this year. He was totally handsome during the interview, but I had one moment that plastered into my mind, a short dialogue between 04:38 – 04:45

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Han Geng: “Yes, I should work harder and I hope that I can attend the Spring Festival Gala again next year”.
Male interviewer: “You need to use more power from the Gengfans” < -- I felt like slapping his face actually X-( Han Geng: "No, I still need to work hard and rely more on myself"

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage – Lao Tzu –

Han Geng knows his strength

Only time can prove whether or not I’m a real quality singer. If let’s say there is someone powerful that’s backing me up, then that someone will naturally be my ‘Gengfans’ Without them giving me strength, I would not be able to continue down this path

But Han Geng also loves his fans deeply and knows that only hard work can make him stand strong and able to give out the best of him to gain more respects

I hope that everyone would respect each other in work.
My concert, my album, my hard work is all for those who have been supporting me.
Even if that there is only just 1 audience left at the stand… I will still give my all on the stage. I am very sincere towards every one, I respect every show I attended.
So, I hope that I will receive the same degree of respect.

It’s not necessary for me to try to find reason to bring back my passion, because the reasons are all there. How can I withdraw myself from someone who had rocked my little world with his heart-warming smile and amazing dancing talent? How can I withdraw myself from someone who’s been working very hard in the past and proved that he deserved all the attention? How can I withdraw myself from someone with his humbleness and sincerity, put his fans as equal as his family? I know that I can not withdraw myself from someone who says what he does and does what he says. Han Geng is exceptional. He’s more than just a pretty boy with angelic face with devilish figure.

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From his last two performances during [V] Channel Music Awards and China Mobile Beijing Concert he proved his words of hard works and showed his improvement. All the awards are to appreciate his hard works and real talent. He has conquered his homeland, but he still needs to work harder to gain international acknowledgment and respect.

When Han Geng’s popularity goes very high, I know where my heart should go. It should go to its place, Han Geng’s Wings of Love, sealed as one of the simple but strong feather, to support him reaching his ultimate goal, going international.

I write so I can share what I see through my heart, my personal point of view and my own analysis.

Disclaimer: All pictures used in this blog are belongs to their rightful owners. No copyright infringement intended.