I really felt sorry for Emilie. I didn’t mean to acted cold fish. I knew I have to be professional. The script requested me to have a lip-lock with her.

I heard the director said “ACTION!!” Emilie started to run then crashed me on the sand before we did the kissing scene. I felt nothing. It was hollow. I hugged her awkwardly. That was not the expected kissing scene. The director said “CUT!!” and we had to started again.

I tried to gather my chemistry for Emilie. It was difficult. She sat next to me, tried to have a little conversation to built the chemistry. I still could not picture her in my head.

I heard Emilie’s voice indistinct. I was surprised, the harder I tried to get my chemistry for her, another chemistry peeped out clearer in my head. My kissing scene with Kristen in Twilight. The chemistry was so bold. It was so easy to kiss her.

and the most important moment in our relationship, our kissing scene in Italy. The moment when we both realized how strong was our feeling for each other. That time, I really could feel Kristen in my arms. Felt her to every core of my body.

Enough for the contemplation. We have to got back for the next shoot. I brought my memory on my kisses with Kristen, hoping that it could give more chemistry to my kissing scene with Emilie. But I failed. Again, I could not act passionately for her. My heart has been hold. I knew the truth.

So, when I met Kristen on the week end, when she laid her soft and tender cheek on my chest. I already knew what to say.

“I knew something is bothering you love,” I started the conversation. She was hesitant. She hold me tighter, not able to say anything. I asked again, “it’s about Emilie, right?”. She kept quite. So I just waited, breathed slowly on her hair. Then she answered, “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin this moment. But it was not easy to let you with another girl Rob.” “Every time I saw her picture, I got nervous.”
” I don’t trust myself to be… enough. To deserve you. There’s nothing about me that could hold you“. – quote from New Moon –

I was waiting for that moment. I kissed the tip of her head, I hold her tighter. My last experience with Emilie, gave me more faith to say, “Kristen, your hold is permanent and unbreakable. Never doubt that.” – quote from New Moon –

My heart has been taken. Kristen hold my heart. And as long as I live, her hold to my heart is permanent and unbreakable.

Whatever the true story behind the wide-spread pictures & newest gossip, my writings is just my point of view, my own analysis. I’ll be tremendously happy if they could be a real couple, but if not at least I still have something to comfort my tortured feelings.

read My hold is permanent & unbreakable to have the same imaginary lines from Kristen’s point of view.

I didn’t understand what exactly happened

The situation was chaotic. That fan girl was totally freaking me out. Never in my life I got a hug attack from someone unknown. My heart pounded so hard. I shouted in my head, “please don’t do this to me!”

I suddenly felt miserable. I wish I could have Kristen in my arms. I need my sunshine my angel.

Slowly, I pictured her in her new hair cut. Her figure calming my scattered feeling. She’s still the most beautiful creature in my universe.

I have planned to meet her this week end. I was longing to see her again. But I have to wait. I still have my obligations. For a moment, I took my lonely time to remembering every single detail of my feeling for her.

All of my life, I have been waiting for all she gives to me. She’d opened my eyes and shown me how to love unselfishly.

I knew in my heart if there were no words, no way to speak, I would still hear her. If there were no tears, no way to feel inside, I’d still feel for her.

Even if the sun refused to shine and romance ran out of rhyme, she would still have my heart until the end of time. I’ve dreamed of this a thousand times before. In my dreams I couldn’t love her more.

I knew what I am going to say to her when we meet this week end, because Kristen is all I need. She’s my love, my Valentine.

Song inspiration: Valentine performed by Martina McBride and Jim Brickman

I used the last manip picture on and on for my imaginary writings, because for my eyes, the picture captured many things about Robert & Kristen. Whatever the true story behind the wide-spread pictures & newest gossip, my writings is just my point of view, my own analysis. I’ll be tremendously happy if they could be a real couple, but if not at least I still have something to comfort my tortured feelings.

I’ve been so nervous since Robert left LA. Our last encounter in Charlie’s was not enough to ease my feelings. I kept calling him nonstop and got uneasy when he didn’t answer. I knew what made me like that. Emilie de Ravin. I was terribly afraid he would fall for her. She’s beautiful, she’s older and she has more experience. The most frightening threat was, she just divorced her husband. I deeply wished that Robert was not her reason. I knew I was being exaggerate. I tried to hold myself tightly. Every time he called, I tried to hide my jealous & trembled voice. I felt like Bella. Not sure that I would be enough for Edward. Not enough Robert.

The situation were getting worse. We still have to hide our relationship. I was outraged. How could they don’t understand. They should know, we are desperate to be together and totally miserable when apart. But our hands were tied up. I started to lost my patience.

I was a little bit cheered up when finally, we met during the weekend. I didn’t care that we have to stay in the hidden place so the paps won’t be able to take our pictures. I didn’t care about anything. I just need to be with Robert. I need to pour everything out. I remembered, he told me once “you are my priority Kristen, you should tell me whatever you have in mind”

But when I laid my head to his strong and comforting chest, I forgot anything I wanna say. His patience and kindness erase all of my nervousness.

“I knew something is bothering you love,” he started the conversation. I was hesitant. I hold him tighter, not able to say anything. “it’s about Emilie, right?”. I kept quite. He just waited. He breathed slowly. He’s waiting for my answer. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin this moment. But it was not easy to let you with another girl Rob.” “Every time I see her picture, I got nervous.”
“ I don’t trust myself to be… enough. To deserve you. There’s nothing about me that could hold you. – quote from New Moon –

He kissed the tip of my head, hold me tighter, “Kristen, your hold is permanent and unbreakable. Never doubt that.” – quote from New Moon –

I believed him. That night I could sleep in peace. I could enjoy the rest of my precious weekend with him feeling relieved and free.

Because I have my faith, my hold to Robert’s heart is permanent & unbreakable.

Whatever the true story behind the wide-spread pictures & newest gossip, my writings is just my point of view, my own analysis. I’ll be tremendously happy if they could be a real couple, but if not at least I still have something to comfort my tortured feelings.

read The permanent & unbreakable hold to my heart to have the same imaginary lines from Robert’s point of view.