I’ve been so nervous since Robert left LA. Our last encounter in Charlie’s was not enough to ease my feelings. I kept calling him nonstop and got uneasy when he didn’t answer. I knew what made me like that. Emilie de Ravin. I was terribly afraid he would fall for her. She’s beautiful, she’s older and she has more experience. The most frightening threat was, she just divorced her husband. I deeply wished that Robert was not her reason. I knew I was being exaggerate. I tried to hold myself tightly. Every time he called, I tried to hide my jealous & trembled voice. I felt like Bella. Not sure that I would be enough for Edward. Not enough Robert.
The situation were getting worse. We still have to hide our relationship. I was outraged. How could they don’t understand. They should know, we are desperate to be together and totally miserable when apart. But our hands were tied up. I started to lost my patience.
I was a little bit cheered up when finally, we met during the weekend. I didn’t care that we have to stay in the hidden place so the paps won’t be able to take our pictures. I didn’t care about anything. I just need to be with Robert. I need to pour everything out. I remembered, he told me once “you are my priority Kristen, you should tell me whatever you have in mind”
But when I laid my head to his strong and comforting chest, I forgot anything I wanna say. His patience and kindness erase all of my nervousness.
“I knew something is bothering you love,” he started the conversation. I was hesitant. I hold him tighter, not able to say anything. “it’s about Emilie, right?”. I kept quite. He just waited. He breathed slowly. He’s waiting for my answer. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin this moment. But it was not easy to let you with another girl Rob.” “Every time I see her picture, I got nervous.”
“ I don’t trust myself to be… enough. To deserve you. There’s nothing about me that could hold you. – quote from New Moon –
He kissed the tip of my head, hold me tighter, “Kristen, your hold is permanent and unbreakable. Never doubt that.” – quote from New Moon –
I believed him. That night I could sleep in peace. I could enjoy the rest of my precious weekend with him feeling relieved and free.
Because I have my faith, my hold to Robert’s heart is permanent & unbreakable.
Whatever the true story behind the wide-spread pictures & newest gossip, my writings is just my point of view, my own analysis. I’ll be tremendously happy if they could be a real couple, but if not at least I still have something to comfort my tortured feelings.
read The permanent & unbreakable hold to my heart to have the same imaginary lines from Robert’s point of view.