My hold is permanent and unbreakable

I’ve been so nervous since Robert left LA. Our last encounter in Charlie’s was not enough to ease my feelings. I kept calling him nonstop and got uneasy when he didn’t answer. I knew what made me like that. Emilie de Ravin. I was terribly afraid he would fall for her. She’s beautiful, she’s older and she has more experience. The most frightening threat was, she just divorced her husband. I deeply wished that Robert was not her reason. I knew I was being exaggerate. I tried to hold myself tightly. Every time he called, I tried to hide my jealous & trembled voice. I felt like Bella. Not sure that I would be enough for Edward. Not enough Robert.


The situation were getting worse. We still have to hide our relationship. I was outraged. How could they don’t understand. They should know, we are desperate to be together and totally miserable when apart. But our hands were tied up. I started to lost my patience.

I was a little bit cheered up when finally, we met during the weekend. I didn’t care that we have to stay in the hidden place so the paps won’t be able to take our pictures. I didn’t care about anything. I just need to be with Robert. I need to pour everything out. I remembered, he told me once “you are my priority Kristen, you should tell me whatever you have in mind”

But when I laid my head to his strong and comforting chest, I forgot anything I wanna say. His patience and kindness erase all of my nervousness.


“I knew something is bothering you love,” he started the conversation. I was hesitant. I hold him tighter, not able to say anything. “it’s about Emilie, right?”. I kept quite. He just waited. He breathed slowly. He’s waiting for my answer. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin this moment. But it was not easy to let you with another girl Rob.” “Every time I see her picture, I got nervous.”
I don’t trust myself to be… enough. To deserve you. There’s nothing about me that could hold you. – quote from New Moon –

He kissed the tip of my head, hold me tighter, “Kristen, your hold is permanent and unbreakable. Never doubt that.” – quote from New Moon

I believed him. That night I could sleep in peace. I could enjoy the rest of my precious weekend with him feeling relieved and free.

Because I have my faith, my hold to Robert’s heart is permanent & unbreakable.

Whatever the true story behind the wide-spread pictures & newest gossip, my writings is just my point of view, my own analysis. I’ll be tremendously happy if they could be a real couple, but if not at least I still have something to comfort my tortured feelings.

read The permanent & unbreakable hold to my heart to have the same imaginary lines from Robert’s point of view.

28 thoughts on “My hold is permanent and unbreakable

  1. tirta

    mommy ya ampun,
    dari tadi udah nangis aku gara-gara fanfic yg di kasih link sama Kak Syifa,
    terus baca ini pula.
    dalem banget mom ;(

    anyway, CONGRATS for this blog yaaa!
    I’ll be waiting for another hundred posts, hehe.
    keep writing, mom, we love it 😀

  2. Sara

    Pretty cool post. I just came by your blog and wanted to say
    that I’ve really enjoyed browsing your posts. Any way
    I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

  3. Aiu a.k.a MyA

    this is awesome!!
    hampir nangis aq bacanya… (T-T)

    trus menulis yach MoM…
    ff MoMMy keren” siy… hehehehe
    jgn lupa tag aq gi (^-^)

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