I miss her. Very much miss her. I really need her to be with me. I need to ease my deep longing for my precious love, Kristen. Then the memory came in flashback.
My growing relationship with Kristen. Since the first time I met her, I knew she’s amazingly beautiful. I felt something different. I wouldn’t have landed Edward’s part in Twilight if she didn’t help me out.
I remembered, during filming Twilight, our friendship were very sweet. I loved to sat with her during the breaks
In the middle of the crowd, I felt the thrill in dragging myself closer to her. My Kristen.
I think that possibly maybe I was falling for her. And I’ve fallen quite hard.
song inspiration: Falling in love at the coffee shop by Landon Pigg
No one understands me quite like she does. I enjoyed every moments I had with her.
I knew I was falling for her, but I remembered what Catherine told me before she gave me the role,
“Just promise me you won’t try and get at Kristen. Her boyfriend is one of my close friends.”
I didn’t know how to deal with that. Because during the premieres, I could not stop starring at her.
She’s too beautiful. Too catchy for my eyes.
I remembered, she kept dragging herself to me. And I couldn’t resist it. Every core of my build was deeply yearning for her warmth.
It was a great misery to saw her with Michael. But again, I didn’t want to hurt Kristen. I didn’t want to push her. She must realized her feeling before she made her decision.
Then I realized. Our closeness will put difficulties on her. I have to kept my distance.
That was not only for my own good, but I did that for Kristen. I must gave her time & space.
But I gave her my word,
“Kristen, you will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of course, if you outgrew me—if you wanted something more—I would understand that. I promise I wouldn’t stand in your way if you wanted to leave me.” -quote from New Moon-
I kept my distance during our Europe trip.
and when we met again in Japan, I tried to be friendly. It was not pleasant, but I knew, my love for Kristen could make me noble.
For sure, it would be more prudent for her not to be with me. But I was tired of trying to stay away from Kristen.
How could I stay away, if I felt like a masochist lion when I saw Kristen, my stupid lamb trapped between the drunk punks.
And how could I deny our feelings. The way we looked to each other were too intimate.
We were blinded by our love for each other.
Then she turned down Mike’s proposal. I thought I would be smiling ear to ear on that news. But I couldn’t. How could I smile and feel the triumphant, if I saw her tortured by her decision.
I couldn’t stand to see Kristen, the reason for my existence, suffered. So, even though it could hurt my feeling, I still asked her, how could you be sure this is the right decision?” “I’ve never seen you this miserable.”
Then she answered me in shaky voice, “Robert, you don’t understand. You may be brave enough or strong enough to live without me, if that’s what’s best. But I could never be that self-sacrificing. I have to be with you. It’s the only way I can live.” – quotes from Eclipse –
I knew, with all my heart, it was not easy for Kristen. Michael was her long-time guy. Not just boy friend. He’s her best friend too. I didn’t feel the triumph over him. I didn’t like the feeling. It was painful.
But when Kristen kissed me in Italy, through her lips, she emphasized her word she gave me before,
“Robert, I know who I can’t live without.” – quote from Eclipse –
So like Edward I have my faith. “I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!”
– quote from Wuthering Heights for Eclipse –
Our relationship is still fragile, but we’ve been through many hard ways. It’s getting stronger.
My love is not an ordinary love, if Kristen possesses it.
==> free translation from Bukan cinta biasa by Afghan
I will always love her until she orders me away. Kristen is my life and my soul.
Every time I write my imaginary base on Robert’s point of view, I feel more romantic. For more than six months I saw him as an affable, shy, charming guy. I am pretty sure, if the situation was real, Robert Pattinson would act like what I wrote in my writings.
Whatever the true story behind the wide-spread pictures & newest gossip, my writings is just my point of view, my own analysis. I’ll be tremendously happy if they could be a real couple, but if not at least I still have something to comfort my tortured feelings.
read His arm is my castle, his heart is my sky to have same imaginary line from Kristen’s PoV.