Category Archives: My Little Twilighted World

My personal experience and what I think about actors with extraordinary talents.

Because Han Geng is exceptional

Recalling my own experience when I first fell in love with one ordinary Chinese guy with remarkable dancing talent and a giggle that melt my heart, I put my little heart in the world of Han Geng. From that moment until the day I wrote this blog, I found many friends who shared the same experience. Most of us didn’t fall for him because of his physical appearance. Most of us fall for him because of his strong heart and how he overcome his troubled years in foreign country.


Throughout my short fandom period, I also questioned by others on the reason I admire Han Geng. I am still compiling my answer, while I found this one remarkable blog post, written by eyeesmile on her tumblr

Below is her simple but very touching words to express her support for the polite and engaging young man, who won support from millions fans because of his extraordinary characteristics.

fan account: post #900 Han Geng

post 900 is for han geng. idk why 900 is such a special number to me, it just is, so i left it for han geng. i’m not very good with words, and there are so many geng fans out there that can express this feeling better. throughout these 5 years, i’ve received too many questions about why i love you, why i chose to love you. it all began on november 4th, 2005, i was flipping through baidu and came across the news of a chinese member in a korean boy group. as everyone knows already, you were the first foreigner to debut in korea.

i was curious, very very curious. what could be the reason for one of the biggest entertainment companies in korea to sign a mere 19 year old chinese boy. no one knew what would happen next for this chinese boy, but i had my suspicions. when they debuted, i found myself being attracted to him, he was the first celebrity i’ve ever felt that way about. one day, that boy disappeared and was replaced by a back up dancer with a mask, my first thought was that he was injured and couldn’t make it. i was disappointed, but i didn’t think too much of it. i forgot what day it was, but geng fans were enraged when we found out that you were the person behind that mask. my whole life, i’ve only known celebrities that try everything to be popular, and especially at the start of their career. when everyone else was getting recognized and had a strong fanbase, you were hiding behind a mask because of the korean laws. it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair at all. you seemed happy, so i’m sorry, i assumed you were.

i was there, when chinese geng fans lost that chance to have you endorse something in china in 2006, and i was extremely touched to see you reaching out on your cyworld to them, i saw you comfort and reassure them. super junior show, han geng’s diary made me see a new side of you. you were so happy in china, different from being in korea. you bought fans ice cream, you were like their big brother, not just another celebrity. when the time came to say good bye to your dad for the second time, you cried. from that point, i knew you’d go far, you not only treat your fans with respect and love, you are a filial son and you have a heart of gold. your personality is not easily found in the industry, and i wanted to see how far you can go. i began to fall for you. you were so innocent in full house, yet so fierce in u. you were the king on stage, yet you were so humble deep down. the first time i’ve ever met you was, 2007 hollywood bowl. you were so wonderful, so much more beautiful than in pictures. in 2008, you brought sj-m to china and you treated them with such hospitality. 2008 was the year, all the chinese around the world, were most proud of their homeland. i bet you were too, you were different. you talked more, you knew your stuff here, you were home. those heartfelt “han geng, welcome home”s, we all know how much that meant to you. you’ve wanted to be home, you miss china. you were the group’s big brother, even when you were sick, you couldn’t rest because you were what the group depended on. i saw your efforts, the way you pushed other members to answer questions asked to you. i saw you promote them, i saw you sink into the background, i saw it all happening in front of those cameras. i saw your face when your stomach started hurting, because your stomach has always been a problem.

gengfans know how much effort you had to put in, and what little rewards you received. 2009, you were back in korea and when you came back, you looked tired. tired, that was the only word i had for you. sj-m has endless activities in taiwan and china. you became a flying superman. super junior won album of the year, of course it was a celebration, but right after, was the event that took our breath away. i couldn’t believe it when sarah & sahar invited me to chat and showed me the news. “han geng submitted lawsuit to sm”. omtd! went wild, akp went wild, you suddenly became the headline of the week. most people worried about super junior, they worried about how they might react to this. i worried about you, i worried about how much you must’ve handled to finally make this decision. how much anguish is saved up in that tiny body of yours. i wondered what you were going to do next, because i’m not going to lie, you weren’t the strongest singer. i watched people panic, misunderstand, and even bash you. at that moment i understood one thing, that no matter what, i believe you.

i believe every single word that comes out of your mouth. why? because i felt like i know the guy i’ve followed for 5 years, the guy i’ve cherished and dug up every detail about. i knew you wouldn’t make such a move unless you couldn’t stand it anymore. it was not for money. no matter what rumors there were, han geng hasn’t spoken, i wasn’t gonna believe any of the rumors. you reappeared in may, and oh my god what an amazing surprise that was. we missed you, so so much. i will never forget the day that video of you on sohu chat appeared, “han geng’s alive!” “wow, he looks good!” i still remember. you looked well-rested, very well-rested. i don’t know what you did for 5 months, but i knew my geng was back, and you were back to take the chinese music industry for a storm. july came, your first solo concert, your first solo album. you have achieved more than anyone this year, and with every step, i am proud to say that i’m a geng fan and i have never left your side. 2011’s coming, and i believe in your abilities, the sky is your limit.

han geng, it’s been 5 years, and i want to let you know that my love for you never swayed, never. thank you for coming into my life, you were the first celebrity i have ever loved, and will

I dunno how long I will support Han Geng, but for now all I know is my love for Han Geng is getting deeper and my respect is getting higher. All because he’s someone exceptional.

Han Geng, he just perfect..

For many months following Han Geng, I read zillion times about his charity works. I read zillion times his cute and adorable attitude towards his fans, his friends and his co-workers and I still amazed by how great his personality is.

The latest was what he did for one handicapped girl, Liu Miao who became his hardcore fans for three years during the China Dream Show. Quoted from

In order to fulfill Liu Miao’s dream to be on the stage with him together, Han Geng did not charge the program for his appearance, completely “zero compensation”.

Watching this video showing the interraction between the Chinese superstar with his hardcore fan, made me realize one thing. This is the reason why my love for Han Geng is getting deeper and my respect is getting higher. He’s a perfect role model for young people. He’s perfect as a star and human being.

I write so I can share what I see through my heart, my personal point of view and my own analysis.

Disclaimer: Video to GengBaoChannel. No copyright infringement intended.

When Han Geng’s popularity goes very high, where should my heart go?

Sometimes, being mature is like having two sides of a coin. On one side, you can have more wisdom that make you able to see things better than when you’re young but on the other side, it makes you let go simple things, like fandom, without a second thought.

I remember the first day I started my fandom 3 years ago. It was the hype of Twilight movie that catapulted Robert Pattinson into stardom in one night. By that time, I realized the other side of myself. Obsession made me able to do things out of my habits. There were days, when I didn’t get enough sleep because I was doing too much research on him. But thanks to my mature mind, though I was obsessed, my logic still knew very well the reason, that I ONLY follow a star with multi-talents and distinctive personality. A star who can produce admirable projects. When the amusement fades, my entire obsession washed away. It was a month after my 2009 birthday, when suddenly I lost my RPatzz Obsessive Disorder, for only one reason, he received too many popular awards. Though harvesting complaints, I left everything behind. I couldn’t find anything else to bring my obsession back, neither his talent nor his personality. It just gone with the wind.

Fandom is not like a faith. It can come and go at anytime. I realized that I am a little bit allergic to popular awards. In my opinion, popular award is necessary for someone who started their career, because it will show how much support and acknowledgement one can get. Popularity is the life and dead of a celebrity. They need to stay on top to be able to continue with their career. But, too much popular awards can blur the real talents. One will never know which really made them on top of the popularity, their strong fan base support or their real talent.

Since October last year, I found my new interest, one multi-talented Chinese male singer, Han Geng. Like my other experience, I started my new fandom with a very excited feeling to dig deeper about him. First obstacle? Language of course 😀 but it didn’t stop me from searching, because there were already sites that provide information about Han Geng in English to accommodate my usual habit, spent nights and days to catch up. I experienced many things, done projects I never imagined before and joined the beautiful circle of friendship with another Gengfans.

Han Geng, since the first day he decided to have his solo career, skyrocketed to unbelievable level of popularity. His hard works for many years started to acknowledged and appreciated. Han Geng wiped many music events like a cyclone with his outstanding performance and received more awards in a lightning speed. I lost count on how many popular awards he received within 2010 to early 2011. On one hand, I was so proud of him, but on the other hand, suddenly I was hit by one reality. It was like deja vu. I am entering another too popular period of a star, even less than 6 months. Will I let this fandom goes just like before? The one question that haunted my mind for many days, how long Han Geng can stay famous on this industry? Is it only because he has a very strong fan base that would give whole heart support to make him win any polls? Or will he stay famous without any support because his real talent can make him strong?

I have to admit, there were days, when I really lost my passion. I saw his pictures blankly and watched his videos with no taste. But my heart had experienced something different from my other fandom. My Geng fandom is no longer obsession. My Geng fandom has changed from obsessive disorder to an admiration and respect. I recalled my memories to Spring Gala Festival Interview on February this year. He was totally handsome during the interview, but I had one moment that plastered into my mind, a short dialogue between 04:38 – 04:45


Han Geng: “Yes, I should work harder and I hope that I can attend the Spring Festival Gala again next year”.
Male interviewer: “You need to use more power from the Gengfans” < -- I felt like slapping his face actually X-( Han Geng: "No, I still need to work hard and rely more on myself"

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage – Lao Tzu –

Han Geng knows his strength

Only time can prove whether or not I’m a real quality singer. If let’s say there is someone powerful that’s backing me up, then that someone will naturally be my ‘Gengfans’ Without them giving me strength, I would not be able to continue down this path

But Han Geng also loves his fans deeply and knows that only hard work can make him stand strong and able to give out the best of him to gain more respects

I hope that everyone would respect each other in work.
My concert, my album, my hard work is all for those who have been supporting me.
Even if that there is only just 1 audience left at the stand… I will still give my all on the stage. I am very sincere towards every one, I respect every show I attended.
So, I hope that I will receive the same degree of respect.

It’s not necessary for me to try to find reason to bring back my passion, because the reasons are all there. How can I withdraw myself from someone who had rocked my little world with his heart-warming smile and amazing dancing talent? How can I withdraw myself from someone who’s been working very hard in the past and proved that he deserved all the attention? How can I withdraw myself from someone with his humbleness and sincerity, put his fans as equal as his family? I know that I can not withdraw myself from someone who says what he does and does what he says. Han Geng is exceptional. He’s more than just a pretty boy with angelic face with devilish figure.


From his last two performances during [V] Channel Music Awards and China Mobile Beijing Concert he proved his words of hard works and showed his improvement. All the awards are to appreciate his hard works and real talent. He has conquered his homeland, but he still needs to work harder to gain international acknowledgment and respect.

When Han Geng’s popularity goes very high, I know where my heart should go. It should go to its place, Han Geng’s Wings of Love, sealed as one of the simple but strong feather, to support him reaching his ultimate goal, going international.

I write so I can share what I see through my heart, my personal point of view and my own analysis.

Disclaimer: All pictures used in this blog are belongs to their rightful owners. No copyright infringement intended.